Don’t kiss that frog!

my dearest little Sara,

well, it has finally happened.  the chase has begun; the giggles and long blond hair must’ve got him.  i must confess, when i saw him put his arms around you and lean in for the kiss, i was mighty proud when you shook him off and raced away.  i wouldn’t need to sic daddy on him after all.  you didn’t even look back to see if he was following you!  atta girl.

it may have been a dinosaur’s age ago, but i remember those playground chases.  all the girls, racing after one boy.  one boy, racing after all the girls.  i remember one recess when i was in the first grade, and we had cornered one boy under the play structure and tied him up (with what?  details.  can’t remember that far.).  all the girls took turns giving him a kiss on the cheek – except me.  i was far too shy and scared that my glasses would scratch him or some such.

he was my very first boyfriend (and the last for a very long time).  ah, dear dennis b..  i guess he preferred to be the chaser rather than the chase-ee.

oh, my little honey girl, do not chase those boys you want.  let them chase you.  and do not let just any boy catch you, baby.  be a butterfly and choose your catcher with care.

you’ve taken to loving fairytales recently, and the other day when we read “the princess and the frog” i found myself cringing at the lesson you were learning from this pretty princess and her toady friend.  in the fairytale of the “princess and the frog”, the frog retrieves the princess’s golden ball in exchange for 3 meals from her plate and 3 nights in her bed, after which he turns into a royal prince who had been cursed with an ugly appearance.  oh, how expensive that favour!  that frog certainly got what he wanted from the exchange.  i do understand that the morals of the story (at least, our version) are to keep your word, and to look beyond appearances, and i can appreciate both of those – do keep your word and do keep in mind that a person’s exterior is not necessarily a reflection of the heart.

but.

do not kiss frogs.

kiss princes.

we girls tend to believe that our kisses and love can transform the ugliest of suitors.  we look beyond the things that really matter:

  • how he treats his mother
  • the jokes he tells
  • his attitude toward people who are different
  • the way he looks at and treats other women

and plenty of other very important things, and we give ourselves away.  not just our bodies.  our thoughts, our desires and hopes, our hearts.  and we still believe that we can somehow transform that ugly, ugly frog into the prince we desperately want.

listen.

frogs do not transform with kisses.  at least, not permanently.  if that frog you fancy morphs into some charming fellow with your kiss, you can trust that eventually he will probably morph back into his most comfortable form.  ribbit.

but kiss a prince, now – if you kiss a prince, he will stay a prince.  he wasn’t a prince to impress you, to win your favour, to get his pleasure.  he was a prince because it was in his nature, his character, and his choices.  and if eventually you do not want his kisses, or he does not want yours, he will still be a prince, and you can bid each other adieu with hope and thankfulness, self-respect and respect for him still in your heart.

my darling girl.  your heart is a jewel beyond price.  you carry the treasures of your laughter, your ideas, your intelligence, your character – gifts to yourselves, gifts to others, gifts to the King of Heaven, and perhaps someday gifts to a prince.  be discriminatory.  guard the mystery of you while you allow the chase.  trust the wisdom of your Father and your daddy before you give away your kisses.

and kiss only a prince.

i will be forever grateful that i did, and forever hopeful that your prince will be as wonderful as mine.

love, mommy

 

 

 

 

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tara
    Jan 27, 2012 @ 02:06:24

    Beautiful!

    Reply

  2. Pat
    Jan 27, 2012 @ 21:37:14

    I loved what you wrote and I couldn’t agree more!!

    Reply

  3. Crystal
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 07:00:53

    Thanks. I’ve thought of so many things I want to add…but perhaps it would be overkill.

    Reply

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