The one about Bad Words

I don’t know where children learn language from.  Okay, not true – they learn it from their parents at first, of course, but we humbly don’t want to accept the credit (blame) for it.  The first worst word I taught Sara was s-t-u-p-i-d.  You see, I’m so afraid of that word already that I can only spell it.   Even yesterday when I watched “Crazy Stupid Love” and was telling Bob about it, I had to spell it.

That word actually first came from the movie “Cars,” I believe, because when Sara first blurted out “Stupid car” and I stared at her in shock, she explained that that was what the blue car said.  (Actually, I think Disney teaches our kids a lot of words we really don’t prefer – it’s just that we don’t hear them when we watch the movie, and they sound much much much worse coming out of a preschooler’s mouth).  So over Christmas, we were working very hard on eliminating the word stupid from Sara’s vernacular, because for some odd reason, that word really stuck in her mouth and came out a lot.  And sounded awful.  So the deal was, if Sara said stupid, then I got to eat her advent chocolate, and vice versa (I think I lost more chocolates than she did – I really had no idea how commonly I used that particular offending term).

I think we had mostly eliminated the word from Sara’s lips by early this month.  She now hears it anytime anyone says it, and looks with great reproof at the offender (or with shock at me, depending on who said it).  I believe my sister, my husband, and some friends of ours have been the most recent ones to declare something stupid.  No one gets away with it in our house.  We are experiencing a stupid reform in our family.

Well, we had one of those days two days ago.  Over one 30 minute period, I had three meals cooking on the stove, two children screaming for attention, and two very important phone calls to contend with.  At one point, I hung up the phone and hollered, “What a stupid day!”

Oh boy.

Twenty minutes later I was having a flashback to my childhood as my mouth foamed with the soap Sara had declared my punishment.  She won’t easily forget how disgusted I was by the soap.  She was very proud of the fact that she had mommy eat soap.  And I don’t think she’ll dare to make the stupid mistake again now that she has actually seen what happens to the mouth that says it.

Well, today my youngest added her foul mouth to the mix.  She said something that made my jaws drop and my eyes widen.  And then I couldn’t stop giggling.  “Ali, no,” I chastised her.  Sara watched me giggling, her own expression calculating and determining that Aliyah had said something hilarious.  Meanwhile, Aliyah stood at the window and repeated herself.  Loudly.  Clearly.  Again and again.

Gangsta attitude. Ish.

Honestly, I did not teach her that one.  Someone is going to have to pay.

Covering my mouth and trying desperately hard not to keep laughing, I shook my head at Sara.  Sara said it anyway.

“Aliyah said ‘fuck.'”

Yes.  Yes, she did.

Who knew what could come from those innocent lips?

PS.  Okay, I have to admit, Aliyah was attempting to say ‘fork.’  Regardless, she found the word very satisfactory.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Angela
    Jan 18, 2012 @ 18:27:24

    Oh my, Crystal. This made me laugh hysterically. Even though I know it’s not really funny 🙂 You always brag about her vocabulary…;)

    Reply

    • Crystal
      Jan 19, 2012 @ 01:46:19

      Yes, it was hilarious. And because I laughed, she kept on saying it…cheerfully, and definitely clearly. Not in context, of course. And I know I deserve it; I am unreservedly proud of her vocabulary and should probably keep it to myself…

      Reply

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